How to ask someone to be your roommate: the money talk first
Quick answer
Ask in one or two plain sentences, then settle the money before they say yes: how rent is split, the deposit, whose name is on each utility, groceries and supplies, and an early move-out. On a $2,400 two-bedroom, an equal split is $1,200 each, or $1,320 and $1,080 at 55/45. Phrase it as a question you answer together, not a contract.
Key points
- Ask in two sentences and bring up money in the same breath: "Before you say yes, can we agree how we split rent and bills?"
- Five money questions come before a yes: the rent split, the security deposit, utility accounts, groceries and supplies, and an early move-out.
- On $2,400 rent for a two-bedroom, an equal split is $1,200 each, and a 55/45 split by room is $1,320 and $1,080.
- In EvenOut, a Household group tracks it, with a monthly Repeat for rent, an invite link that lasts 30 days and a Viewer role for a landlord who wants to follow along.
On this page
How do you ask someone to be your roommate?
Ask in one or two plain sentences, and mention the money talk in the same breath. A short ask lets the other person say yes or no without a speech, and naming the money tells them you plan to be straightforward. Here are three versions.
- A close friend. “I am looking at two-bedrooms for next year, and you are the first person I would want to live with. Before you answer, can we talk through rent and bills so we both know what we would be saying yes to?”
- A coworker or acquaintance. “I am looking for a roommate for a two-bedroom starting in March, and I think we would get along. Could we get coffee and go over how we would split the costs?”
- Someone from a roommate-finding group. “I saw your post and I have a two-bedroom coming up. Before we set up a viewing, I can send you the rent split and the move-in costs so you can see the numbers first.”
Which five money questions should you settle before they say yes?
Settle these before anyone signs a lease or pays a deposit, so a no costs nothing.
- How is rent split? Equal, or by room. On $2,400 for a two-bedroom, equal is $1,200 each. If one room is bigger, a 55/45 split is $1,320 for the bigger room and $1,080 for the smaller one. How to split rent by room size shows how to pick the percentages.
- Who pays the security deposit, and how does it come back? Say the deposit is $2,400, so each pays $1,200. Agree who pays the landlord, when the roommate pays you, and how any deductions are shared. Splitting a security deposit between roommates covers the return.
- Whose name is on each utility account? The account holder pays the company, and the other person repays their share by an agreed day. A $140 electric bill in your name is $70 from a roommate at an equal split. How to split utilities between roommates compares the methods.
- Are groceries and supplies separate or shared? One option is to keep food separate and share only what runs out, such as cleaning supplies and toilet paper, with each person paying a set amount into a pot, say $20 a month. Splitting cleaning supplies and toilet paper compares three systems.
- What happens if someone moves out early? Agree how much notice to give and who covers the leaver’s share until a replacement moves in. At $1,200 a month, that is the size of the gap each month. What roommates owe each other when one moves out early goes through it.
How do you raise money without sounding like a contract?
Say it as a question you answer together, and send the numbers first. Two lines do it.
“Before you say yes, can we agree how we split rent and bills?”
“Here is what I have: rent is $2,400, so $1,200 each, and I will send you the utility accounts.”
When you agree on the answers, put them in one message that you both reply yes to. It is a record of what you agreed, and not a legal contract. For a printable version, what to include in a roommate agreement lists the topics, and the roommate agreement template has the blanks to fill in.
How do you keep it running once they say yes?
Use a Household group in EvenOut, the type labelled “Rent and bills”.
- Add the rent. Tap “Add expense”, type $2,400 and set “Paid by” to whoever pays the landlord. Choose “Split equally”, or “By percent” for a 55/45 split.
- Make it repeat. Behind “Photo, repeat, pending or note”, set “Repeat” to “Monthly”. For rent due on the 5th the sheet reads, for example, “Next one Nov 5. EvenOut adds it for you.” The expense you save is the first one, and each later one is added as a normal expense with the same payer and split. Setting up a repeat needs a connection.
- Invite them. In the group’s settings, open “Members”, then “Add people”, and choose “Invite with a link”. The link works for 30 days and for several people, and anyone with the link can join, so send it to the person directly.
- Give a landlord a view. If the landlord wants to follow along, the group owner can set their role to “Viewer”. A viewer sees everything and can comment, but cannot add or change expenses.
What should you do next?
Pick the version of the ask that fits, and put the five questions in the first conversation instead of the third. Send the agreed answers in one message, then set up the group and the monthly rent repeat the day the lease starts.
Frequently asked questions
What if they say no, or ask for time?
Reply with a short line and a date: "No problem, thanks for thinking about it. If it changes, tell me by Friday, because I need to confirm the place by then." A date lets you plan your own move without pressing for an answer.
Can you add a roommate before they have EvenOut?
Yes, in a group. Use Add a guest to track their share by name, and send a claim link when they are ready to join. The claim link works once and lasts 7 days, and a new link replaces the old one.
What do you charge if a roommate moves in partway through a month?
Charge by the day. Say a roommate's share is $1,200 for a 30 day month and they move in on the 21st, which leaves 10 days. That is $1,200 × 10 ÷ 30 = $400 for the first month, and the full $1,200 from the month after.
Keep reading
- Guide What to include in a roommate agreement Twelve money clauses for a roommate agreement, each with fill-in wording: rent shares, utilities, guest costs, late payment, notice and move-out money.
- Guide How to split rent by room size (formula and example) Split rent by room size with rent times bedroom area over total bedroom area, after taking out a shared-space share. Worked on $2,700, with EvenOut steps.
- Guide How to split a security deposit between roommates Equal or by rent share? On a $2,400 deposit with rents of $1,000, $800 and $600, see both splits, who fronts it and how to log it.
- Guide How to split utilities between roommates One $240 month run through four rules: equal, by people, by days present and with a heavy user extra charge. Plus who holds accounts and when to repay.
- Template Roommate agreement template (free, printable) A free printable roommate agreement for house rules: quiet hours, guests, shared spaces, cleaning and shared items, with blanks to fill and defaults to circle.
- Calculator Prorated rent calculator for a mid-month move Enter the rent and your move-in or move-out day to see prorated rent by actual days and by a 30-day month. $1,800 from the 12th is $1,161.29 or $1,200.