Who pays for a baby shower, and how co-hosts split it

Who pays for a baby shower?

The host pays. In its answer about organizing a lunch instead of a shower, Emily Post describes sprinkles and encore showers as “hosted events where invitations are sent and the expectation is that the host is covering the costs.” It says the same of wedding showers: “The wedding shower host or hosts pay for the shower.” A baby shower where the invitations go out from a host carries the same expectation, so that is the rule to start from.

Because the host covers the costs, invited guests are not asked to pay toward the party. The exception is an outing someone organizes instead of hosts, covered below.

Who hosts a baby shower?

Traditionally the hosts were close friends, cousins, aunts, sisters-in-law or co-workers of the mother-to-be. Emily Post explains that because gifts are central to a shower, a member of the honoree’s immediate family hosting “appeared self-serving.”

That has changed. Emily Post now says it is appropriate for anyone to host a baby shower as long as there is a legitimate reason, and gives an example: some parents-to-be live far from their hometowns, and their mothers and siblings want to host so that long-time friends can attend. So a mother who wants to host her daughter’s shower can, and she pays like any other host.

How do co-hosts split the cost?

Co-hosts split it equally unless they agree otherwise. Each one buys what they can, keeps the receipt, and the group divides the total by the number of hosts.

1. Agree who buys what. One host books the venue, one orders food, one handles the cake.
2. Keep every receipt. Take a photo when you pay.
3. Add the totals. Divide by the number of hosts.
4. Subtract each host’s share from what they paid. A positive number is owed to that host, a negative number is what they owe.

Say three co-hosts hold a shower in a community room. Maya pays $225 for the room, Lena pays $330 for the food, and Ruth pays $90 for the cake. The total is $645, and $645 divided by 3 is $215 each.

Host	Paid for	Spent	Ends up
Maya	The room	$225	Owed $10
Lena	The food	$330	Owed $115
Ruth	The cake	$90	Owes $125

Ruth pays Lena $115 and Maya $10, which is $125 in all, and everyone has paid $215.

In EvenOut you can make a group of the “Event” type, which it describes as parties and dinners, and add the shower’s dates. Each host adds their receipt as an expense with the split on “Split equally” and the payer set to whoever paid. The “Settle up” screen records Ruth’s two payments once she sends the money, but EvenOut records payments and does not move money.

What if the shower is at a restaurant?

If the hosts are inviting people to the restaurant, the hosts pay, and the number to work with is the per-head price times everyone at the table, hosts included. Say a restaurant offers a set menu at $38 a head, and 13 guests and 3 hosts are coming. That is 16 people, so $608 before tax and tip. If the restaurant’s quote leaves tax and tip out, add them before you divide.

Three hosts split $608 as $202.67, $202.67 and $202.66, since the total does not divide evenly and one share is a cent smaller.

A group lunch in place of a shower is a different arrangement. In answer to someone organizing a lunch for a friend’s fourth baby, Emily Post says that when you organize an event instead of host it, that is when it is fine to suggest everyone pay their own way. You then need to make clear that you are only the organizer and not the hostess, and to make sure each person knows the payment arrangements ahead of time, so nobody is surprised on the day. Its sample wording is that the group will “each pay our own way and cover the cost of her meal.”

In that wording, the honoree’s meal is the only shared cost. If 12 people go and her meal is $33 with tax and tip, each of the other 11 adds $3 to their own check.

How do you track a deposit?

A deposit is money paid out that the final bill may change, so it should stay out of the balances until you know the final amount. Say Maya pays the community room a $75 deposit six weeks ahead, and the final invoice is $225 with the deposit counted.

In EvenOut, tap “Photo, repeat, pending or note” when you log the deposit, which opens “Add to this expense”, and choose “Pending payment”, which EvenOut describes as a deposit or hold, not a final charge. A pending expense is not counted in balances yet. When the final invoice arrives, open the expense, choose “Confirm expense” and type the final charge of $225, and everyone’s share re-splits to match.

What to do next

Decide who the hosts are, tell them who is buying what, and agree on equal shares before anyone spends money. If the shower is for a wedding rather than a baby, who pays for a bridal shower covers how a bridal party splits it. For the general method behind a shared party budget, see how to split party costs between hosts and guests.